Hanging on a moment of truth

cliff

Turning 39 today feels a little bit like standing on the edge of a cliff, toes curled over the edge, looking down at the waters below and not quite knowing what mysteries lie beneath the surface but knowing that you’re going to make that leap…just not quite yet.

I don’t mean to parallel the upcoming transition to 40 with a jump toward death. No, it’s not foreboding. It’s thrilling!! I find that I’m rather looking forward to it so that I might cross that threshold and enter the next phase of my life.

Lately I feel very much like I’m on the edge of something magnificent but that I’m not there yet. Much of my life at the moment is feeling like preparation, like steps toward a goal. I need to stay the course, continue onward and upwards but I find that much of the time I’m not exactly certain of my destination. Each step becomes clear as I take it but the path ahead is unknown. Each small step forward is taken with a certain amount of faith that I’m headed in the right direction. And there is an anxious anticipation that up around the bend is a clearing where I’ll be able to see all around me and wisely choose which way I want to go from there.

Today I need to remember not to get too caught up in contemplating the destination but to stay present in each moment and revel in the ground that is still beneath my feet and marvel at the little details that uncurl and unravel along the way.

I am completely in love with this journey and full of gratitude for everything that is my life!

 


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