Category Archives: Connection

The Red Thread


Red String of Fate by KaitiBee


According to Chinese and Japanese folklore, the red string or thread of fate/destiny is tied to the ankles or little finger of those who are destined to meet. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break.

Here is a story often told featuring the red string of fate:

Walking home one night, a young boy sees an old man standing beneath the moonlight (Yuè Xià Lǎo). The man explains to the boy that he is attached to his destined wife by a red thread. Yuè Xià Lǎo shows the boy the young girl who is destined to be his wife. Being young and having no interest in having a wife, the young boy picks up a rock and throws it at the girl, running away. Many years later, when the boy has grown into a young man, his parents arrange a wedding for him. On the night of his wedding, his wife waits for him in their bedroom, with the traditional veil covering her face. Raising it, the man is delighted to find that his wife is one of the great beauties of his village. However, she wears an adornment on her eyebrow. He asks her why she wears it and she responds that when she was a young girl, a boy threw a rock at her that struck her, leaving a scar on her eyebrow. She self-consciously wears the adornment to cover it up. The woman is, in fact, the same young girl connected to the man by the red thread shown to him by Yuè Xià Lǎo back in his childhood, showing that they were connected by the red string of fate.

Although the red string is most often associated with the joining of destined lovers or soul mates, such as in the story above, I like to visualize it as the connecting of any two people who are meant to help each other in some way.

I see us all walking around in a metaphorical web of red thread, connected to each other in ways that we cannot see and that most of us don’t even realize.

It’s complex and beautiful in its intricacy, weaving us all together whether for a moment or for a lifetime.

Of course you could say that we’re all cosmically connected and speak of collective consciousness and oneness but I’m speaking in a less universal sense and a more interpersonal one.

For me, the red thread is an understanding between two people, a bond that whispers of wholeness and echoes of eternity.

A feeling as though your soul knows the secrets of another’s even if you’ve never exchanged a word.

It’s a connection that has nothing to do with physical location, time, age, race, gender or any such construct.

Perhaps it’s a simple passing, looking into the eyes of a stranger and seeing something there that you recognize, a shared understanding.

Or the bond between friends that never erodes regardless of distance or the passage of time.

It’s a person who was in the right place at the right time, who was able to help you in a way that no one else could.

It’s feeling like you’ve known someone who you just met for your entire life, or a feeling that you intimately know someone who you’ve never met.

I like to think of connectedness in this way. A tapestry weaving us all together, threads intertwined – stretching across time and distance.

Sometimes I imagine that I can see these threads, it’s like those pictures where if you allow your eyes to go out of focus, an image appears. I feel as though I can occasionally sense them there, discretely tied to me and that if I take a hold of one I can trace it all the way to you.



No slave to the ordinary or the play it safers


The blog post below is written by a friend, I want to share it because I feel that it’s so important to tell not only our own stories, but to also pass on those of others. It’s what connects us.

“After nourishment, shelter and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.” ~ Philip Pullman

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~ Maya Angelou


Right brain tendencies blog


A friend put up a link to’ Positive Writer’ on Facebook. Wow! I highly recommend checking out this website and his writing advice. I would not even cap it at writing advice, it seemed it was a lense of a way to process life and is extremely motivational.

His writing advice about blogging was to be specific about your blog and to let readers know what your blog is about and what to expect from your blog. This is ,if you want to build an audience of readers that commit to your blog.

He is writing from a perspective of  failure,  which is where growth seems to seed, that is his point. This writer experienced a failed blog of randomness for it’s content.  I find myself guilty of that randomness on my blog. He discovered and encourages being specific about what you are writing about, a genre or theme.


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Let Go and Let Love

Girl with the Red Balloon by Bansky

Girl with the Red Balloon by Bansky


This post was written back in February but it felt disjointed so I didn’t publish it. Re-reading it now, it still feels disjointed, but I like the idea of letting go of fear and choosing love.

Actually though, I think I just really like this amazing picture which is taken from a piece of graffiti art in London. To the right of this piece it says simply, “There is always hope.”



In my last post I wrote about embarking on a journey to raise my words and not my voice. As it turns out, losing my temper and yelling at my kids hasn’t been an issue for me lately.  Maybe because I clearly set the intention, but really, I think it’s because on December 14th, 2012 they came home from school. Such a simple thing.

On that day the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary happened. It left many of us with a feeling that something has to change but our opinions about what needed to change were as varied as we are as a nation. I don’t have the answers, but for me, it starts with choosing love, compassion, and connection.

I remember that dropping my kids off at school that next day was crazy hard. I wanted to keep them home with me forever, to never let them out of my sight or out of my grasp. I wanted to protect them. But I knew that I couldn’t, that I can’t. I can try to do my best to keep them safe but ultimately I am not the one in control. And that scares the crap out of me. But I refuse to let that fear dictate my life, or theirs. I am letting go of it.

One of my biggest personal challenges has been belief in my own self-worth. I tend to doubt myself and my contribution to the world. But there is one thing that I know that I am capable of beyond any self-doubt and that is love.

Love is easy when times are good and things are going well but we need to also love each other through the awkward and the hurt as well. It’s time to connect with each other. Not just through liking someone’s status on Facebook and not just with our family and friends.  It’s time to reach out to the sullen and the broken, to look one another in the eye and smile, to ask “how are you?” and stop and listen for the answer.

What if by doing so we can change someone’s day? Their life? What if by doing so we can save someone’s life?

I’m not good at talking to people that I don’t know, I’m not good at knowing what to say. I tend to retreat when things get hard. But I’m no longer using that as an excuse to hide. Because I know that I can make a difference. We all can.

So I’m making a commitment to let go of fear, of anger, and of the illusion of control and to let love be the force that drives me.